Remembering the Word in the Morning

I was sitting in my apartment this morning after a significantly crazy week reading my Bible. This is the first time since Sunday that I have made time to actually read God's Word before I ran off to my day. And I realized that this should never happen...EVER AGAIN. My soul was soothed by the words of James, but it made me realize that my heart was parched and dying. I felt rejuvenated for the first time all week.

This is the only way to start the day out right. Without it, the days go wrong, I get crabby, and nothing really works out right. I feel my temper rise, I complain, and I just feel off over all.

With the Word in my head and heart, I feel on fire, I get giddy, and I feel restored. It seems to obvious that I would want this over the alternative, but sometimes school creeps up on me and pretends to be my all-in-all. Academics are a battle I fight every day, and I need to remember that they are just a part of this life that is passing away.

So I started my day today in James. Truth was imparted to my soul:

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the
Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James
1:17)

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to
visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep unstained from the
world. (James 1:27)

Every gift, and I have been blessed with many, comes from my Heavenly Father who will never change. He is the Father of lights, and He will wipe out the darkness.

Keeping unstained from the world is not easy, but with the help of the Holy Spirit and the truth imparted through the Word of God, it becomes a lot easier.

So my dear readership, remember to soothe your soul with the water that is only of the Word. Be rejuvenated in it. Remember to be thankful to God for the blessings that you have received, and in that thankfulness, remember to be unstained in the world so we can be a good witness for our Father.

And remember:

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless
and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and
twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to
the word of life.... (Philippians 2:14-16)

All for His glory. Forever and ever.

Meat and Potatoes

This semester has been filled with surprisingly busy things. Some wonderful and amazing, others a little less so. But Jesus still manages to be present in my days.

I was reading Hebrews 5 this morning, and the end of the passage really hit home:

About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have
become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you
need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You
need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the
word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature,
for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to
distinguish good from evil. (Hebrews 5:11-14)

This passage made me pause. I really feel like I can only handle milk some days. The basics are all I can handle. I need to be able to handle and understand that which is milk before I can learn to eat solid food.

But I want to eat solid food. I want to savor meat and potatoes. I don't want to be complacent and just drink my milk. I need to be able to handle the milk and really be nurished by it, but I want to eat it in conjunction with those meat and potatoes.

For His glory I want to eat solid food.

Incorruptible Love

The more I read of the Bible, the more enthralled I am with it. It's not only what the words are saying, but the words that are used that create the impact.

This morning I was finishing up Ephesians when the wording of the last verse stopped me.

Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible. (ESV,
Ephesians 6:24)

Even in Paul's benediction do we see a call to purity and holiness. "Incorruptible" means something "that cannot be perverted" or "that will not dissolve, disintegreat, decay, etc." The NIV (New International Version) and the HCSB (Holman Christian Standard Bible) use the word "undying."

We are called to love Christ with an unperverted, dying, eternal love. The word "incorruptible" encompasses all that.

So, my dear friends, "Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible."

The Aroma of Christ

But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ. (2 Corinthians 2:14-17)

It is the honest truth that those who are not saved smell the stench of death. They do not understand what it is to smell the sweet aroma that is Christ.

I want to fall on my knees. Christ, take me. Help me to be that aroma, the fragrance of Christ, spreading the knowledge of you.

There was no part of creature-holiness, that I then, and at other times, had so great a sense of the loveliness of, as humility, brokenness of heart and poverty of spirit: and there was nothing that I had such a spirit to long for. My heart, as it were, panted after this to lie low before GOD, and in the dust; that I might be nothing, and that God might be all; that I might become as a little child. (Jonathan Edwards: Personal Narrative)

All glory and honor to Christ, who endured all things so that we don't have to.

Insignificant Words that Produce Joy

I was walking home from class today, contemplating what makes me happy. I realized that my joys come from more simple things: a word, a touch, a good grade, etc. I mean, lately I have been really drawn to words that start with "W." I'm not sure you understand.

There are many words that bring me joy. Often they are little used words that are insignificant. Lately though, "W" has become my favorite letter, and words that begin with it just make me smile:

Wrinkle

Wonder

Wigglesworth, Michael (a poet)

Wit

Wistful

Whistle

Whimsical

Wish

Widget

Words

I could keep going, but I think you get my point.

Thoughts for a New School Year

So I haven't blogged since July. My apologies to those out there in the greater blogosphere.

I moved back into my apartment today and remembered why I don't live here during the summer. It's about 90 degrees in here, and our a/c doesn't cool enough of the apartment to be helpful. I'm praying for rain. And I think God is going to answer that prayer. It's supposed to be gloriously cool the rest of the week. Which means it'll still be hot in here, but not so much that I sweat just sitting still.

School starts on Thursday, and I can't wait. I'm just a big nerd, if you didn't already know, and the classroom is where I really want to be. All the time. And now I'm getting my wish.

Last week I finished reading Madeleine L'Engle's An Acceptable Time, the last installment to the Time Quintent which includes A Wrinkle in Time. The main character is contemplating death (a theme in a few of L'Engle's books), and she starts thinking about sacrifice, as her death would save many other people. Laying in her lean-to, she quotes this hymn:

Christ be with me

Christ within me

Christ behind me

Christ before me

Christ beside me

Christ to win me

Christ to comfort me

and restore me.

Christ beneath me

Christ above me

Christ in quiet

Christ in danger

Christ in hearts of

all that love me

Christ in mouth of

friend and stranger.

After I finished the book, I have gone back to this passage a few times. This hymn is a prayer. This year will be defined by this prayer. I want it to be an every day kind of prayer. And not something done out of tradition, but something that is genuine.

I was in a wedding recently as well (congratulations, Amber and Jason!!). The happy couple asked me to read Scripture at the wedding, and I agreed. The passage they had me read has also become something that I want to define this year by:

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in the spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be conceited. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (Romans 12: 9-18)

So we are off and running on a new year. I will attempt to post about my adventures regularly, but as you know, sometimes I get distracted.

All for His glory.

The Joy of Rereading

While I was making myself french toast this morning, I ruminating over some things. The one that stands out most prominently however is my tendency to reread my favorite books. I have always thought this a sort of weakness, something like a fear of breaking out of what is comfortable. This summer, my thoughts on this tendency changed when I had an interview at the library for my dream job: stocking shelves. Although I didn't get the job (they didn't like that I lived about an hour away), I came home with a new found respect for rereading books.

Within the interview, one of the librarians with whom I was talking asked me what books I like to read. My goodness, she opened the floodgates. We then talked about books for about 5 minutes, and when I mentioned Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, she told me that she rereads it once or twice a year.

This woman inspired me to not feel shame in my desire to reread books. She is in charge of shelving and sees new books come in and out of the library all the time, and yet, she continues to reread books.

My desire to reread books was then fueled. Though I will read new books, I never again feel like there is anything wrong with rereading a quality book. I feel joy in them and want to experience it again and again. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Here are some of my favorites that I have reread at least once:

The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis (every time I finish this book, I get the feeling that I could never read again and still be happy; and that is significant when you are a reader)

A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L'Engle

The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carlson Levine

The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

The Lord of the Rings series by J.R.R. Tolkien

Surprised by Joy by C.S. Lewis

East by Edith Pattou

Peter Pan by James M. Barrie

And some I plan on rereading:

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Northlander by Meg Burden

Foundling by D.M. Cornish

Lamplighter by D.M. Cornish

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

These are not all of the books I love, but these are many that have I have either read twice or three times (or more). Hope you can find some here that give you joy like they do for me!

Happy reading and rereading!

Brief-ish Thoughts, not Lectures or Rants

So today I have a couple thoughts for you. Thoughts, not lectures. I'm good at lectures or monologues or rants, but today, I have thoughts for you.

Thought #1: I am being baptized tonight, Lord willing. It's kinda nerve-wracking. I have to give my testimony in a brief minute to two minutes. Brief is not something I do well. I almost wanted to back out. I'm such a wuss. But God brought me to 1 Peter for a reason this morning:

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, in which he went and proclaimed to the spirits in prison, because they formerly did not obey, when God's patience waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought to safety through water. Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him. (1 Peter 3:18-22)

Thought #2: On Facebook, I was looking at a friend's little sister's pictures from her UK trip. I was almost brought to tears. Not only are Livi's pictures beautiful (all of them), but the desire that God has given me to go there was overwhelming. I just need to keep waiting. Waiting. The sign that looks like grass growing in front of you. Wait.

Thought #3: These are less like thoughts and more like subjects I'm just not elaborating on like I would like. Like I said, I'm not good at brief.

Thought #4: I love the Bible. It's intoxicating.

Finding Joy Further Up and Further In

I recently finished C.S. Lewis' Surprised by Joy. I attempted to read this book when I was just a mere 19-year-old, fresh out of my first year in college. Now, as a seasoned 21-year-old, I was able to finish it all, and probably appreciate it more. Not saying that I couldn't appreciate it at that time. I did appreciate and adore what I finished, but now I was able to really delve into the depths of Lewis' conversion because I actually reached it. I would recommend this book to anyone. It is absolutely excellent.

Lewis talks about Joy, and what that means. One of my favorite quotes says,

All Joy reminds. It is never a possession, always a desire for something longer ago or further away or still "about to be." (78).

This just gives a little taste of what he means by Joy, but I think that this is significant nonetheless.

Lewis' use of the word "further" echoes a theme in his novel The Last Battle. One of the final chapters is called "Further Up and Further In." The allegory of the Chronicles of Narnia is based heavily in the Bible, but in this final installment, Lewis takes the main characters to their end and the world's end. When they are in heaven, Aslan calls them to come up "further up and further in."

As I was reading my book, How People Change, for my Titus 2 study, a women's mentoring group through Bethlehem Baptist, I came across a section called "Looking In and Looking Back." This further echoed Lewis' theme in my head. In this section, as with "Further Up and Further In," the authors, Paul Tripp and Timothy Lane, discuss heaven. They quote the image of heaven in Revelation 7:9-17. A few pages later they ask, in reference to this passage,

As you listen to the saints in eternity, can you see yourself there? If you are one of God's children, you are in that scene. You actually see your future. This is the end of your story. (42)

The combination of the two images impressed itself on my mind. Now, after reading Surprised by Joy as well, I was able to really connect everything. Joy is something we find in looking forward to the eternal home God has created for us. He asks us to seek it "further up and further in." The image that is presented in Revelation is the end of our story.

Let's seek him further up and further in.

"See, here is water!"

Now an angel of the Lord said to Philip, "Rise and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza." This is a desert place. And he rose and went. And there was a Ethiopian, a eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who has in charge of all her treasure. He had come to Jerusalem to worship and was returning, seated in his chariot, and he was reading the prophet Isaiah. And the Spirit said to Philip, "Go over and join this chariot." So Philip ran to him and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, "Do you understand what you are reading?" And he said, "How can I, unless someone guides me?" And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him. Now the passage of the Scripture that he was reading was this:

"'Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter

and like a lamb before the shearer is silent,

so he opens not his mouth.

In his humiliation justice was

denied him.

Who can describe his generation?

For his life is taken away from

the earth.'"

And the eunuch said to Philip, "About whom, I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or someone else?" Then Philip opened him mouth, and beginning with this Scripture he told him the good news about Jesus. And as they were going along the road they came to some water, and the eunuch said, "See, here is water! What prevents me from being baptized?" And he commanded the chariot to stop, and they both went down into the water, Philip and the eunuch, and he baptized him. And when they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord carried Philip away, and the eunuch saw him no more, and went on his way rejoicing. (Acts 8:26-39)

My parents and I are being baptized this Wednesday (7/14) at Lake Nokomis. We would be honored if you would join us in rejoicing in what God has done through Christ's death and resurrection. Let me know if you would like to come!

All for His glory.

The Explorer of Warmth

Today, while I was standing at the drive-thru window at work, I realized that staring at my parent's Explorer gives me a certain feeling. I know that sounds weird. But what I mean is that there is a distinct warmth I get from seeing this vehicle. There is nothing special about it, other than the fact that it gives me this feeling.

And me being me, I needed to understand WHY I got that feeling. I'm not a "oh, that? okay" kind of person. I'm a "Why? I don't understand, and I really need to" person. Makes life difficult sometimes. But I learn a lot that way.

I know it sounds like I was wasting time at work, but honestly, this all took about a minute. Maybe less. I realized that my parent's Explorer reminds me of my dad. Which is weird because my mom drives it more than my dad, but for some reason, it's Dad I think of.

The sight of my Explorer makes me feel safe, protected. It makes me feel comfortable and at home. It's a warm feeling.

As I was standing there, a smile was brought to my face. I love these little things in life. I never want to overlook them. The little things can be much more meaningful and important than the big things.

Adam Young and his Blog

So I just want to let all of you know that I love Owl City. It's not just because Adam Young is a singing sensation across many nations either. Actually, that normally makes me dislike an artist. I like those little people who are just trying to make it in the music world. Or those people who just play because it's what they love and don't have any popularity or fame.

I love Adam's Owl City Blog. I follow him on Twitter and read his blog every time I see an update. It's great. It almost always brings a smile to my face. I love his movie references because I almost always get them and see how they apply. Sometimes I wish I could write whimsically like him. But I'm not exactly like that. So I'll stick to one subject a blog, thank you very much.

I tried to add him on Facebook once. Adam Young, I mean, not Owl City. He rejected me. And now I can't find him anymore. Shoot. I'm such a stalker. I thought it was legit though because we had a friend in common (weird I know). Maybe it was the wrong guy...yeah, we'll go with that.

But I just thought I would tell you (my vast reader base) about my love for his blog. It's great. Check it out.

Happy Father's Day!

Today is Dad's Day. It's a glorious day for many reasons. Our eternal Father gave us beautiful weather, and He gave me an earthly father I can be proud to call "Daddy."

My daddy is always there for me. He's been a constant rock in my life. He is immovable, strong. I love being a part of his world. He's seen me through my difficult times and through my happy times. He puts up with my ridiculousness and supports me when I make good decisions. He also tells me when I'm being stupid and need to grow up. He's honest. And I really appreciate that.

I have been blessed with amazing parents; both of them are my biggest fans. But today is Father's Day, and my father is the best. I'm sorry to all those out there who don't have my dad for a dad. He's pretty amazing.

Thanks, Dad, for being my dad, for loving me when I talk your ear off, for taking me fishing and letting me shoot your guns, for being my rock. Luf ya, Dad.

Cooking Through Potholes

So for those of you keeping score, I have now made a few dishes toward my cooking goal.

I have successfully made an Apple Tart Bread, a Country White Bread, Chicken in Creamy Pan Sauce, and brats. To be honest, the hardest recipes were the white bread and the brats. The brats were hard possibly because they were not a recipe. And bread is just hard to make, but ooooh-so-good when finished. Thank you to my beautiful sister-in-law for help with the bread, and to my patient parents who eat what I make and help when they can.

Cooking is a struggle for me. Brats were very difficult for me to make just because I didn't have specific directions to follow. My need for directions, concrete directions, seems to be catching up to me. Because I don't understand cooking, I want everything to be laid out for me. But it's a science, an art-form. And who can write down perfection?

Growing up is hard, but I'm learning. Cooking is just an avenue to feeling like a real adult. I just wish the DOT of life would smooth out the potholes.

Kare 11 and UW-River Falls

Within the last three weeks of the school year, the two sections of TED212 at UW-River Falls put together a field trip for inner city middle schoolers. It was an amazing experience. An eye-opener one might even say.

I was blessed with the group I had. They were amazing to work with. Our group had a time of it, but I can only imagine what the group who had Kare 11 coming to film them had to deal with. Their schedule was constantly being changed, and there was always a hitch in their plans.

But they made it. Today Kare 11 broadcast the story. Though it focuses on more of the math and science teaching program, the Gear Up Get Ready group, headed by Chad Forde and Laurel Corbett, planned the entire field trip. The students who were the backbone of this project were the Gear Up Get Ready students. In the video, they are the ones with the white t-shirts on.

The honor does not seem to be going to them. However, being a group leader, I understand the stress they were under. Chad and Laurel did an amazing job, along with Jon, Robin, Justin, Teal, Shanna, Eric, and Dr. Miller.

I would encourage you to watch the video and/or read the article. It's an honor, and I feel really special that I can brag that I know you guys. :-) Congratulations! Hope to see you in the fall!

Marriage and Cooking

So I have now come to the age when my friends and peers are getting married, and I realized tonight that I don't know how to cook.

Seems like there is little to no connection? Well, there is a pretty significant one, at least in my head.

With the marriages of my friends, I am realizing that someday I will probably be married myself, if that is what God wills for me. I'm not worried about having enough food to put on the table. I'm worried about WHAT food I will put on the table.

I honestly don't know very much about cooking (did you see the connection??). Though I may not get married for years, the recent and impending marriages of several friends have thrown into perspective my lack of desire and skill at cooking.

So this summer, I have a new goal (whether I obtain it or not time will only tell). I am going to learn how to cook. Not just from a recipe. I mean I can kinda do that. But I mean like cooking steak and pork chops and fish and bread (Bekah! Please help.) and so many other things. I want to be able to put together a meal for a meat-loving husband or a chicken-devouring friend or a vegetarian roommate. I want to be confident in the kitchen because right now, I'm not. If you have any tips, let me know.

It'll be a fight some days. I really don't like to cook, but I need to learn how. The older I get the more I realize being able to cook is a skill I have a desire to learn (at least in the back of my mind).

However, though I can't cook, I can make a mean batch of cookies. Just ask my brother.

A New Marriage and Old Friends

Oh man. What a night.

God blessed an amazing couple with union last night, and I was extremely blessed to be a part of it. :-) It was such an amazing wedding. The ceremony was amazing, and the message was great.

The party after the fact was amazing as well. I know it was a blessing for Alicia and Kory LaCroix, but it was also a blessing for me. I was able to reconnect with good friends from Northwestern that I haven't seen in 6 months or more. We danced the night away to 90s rap, polka, N*Sync, and everything in between.

I woke up this morning with a contentedness in my heart that could only be from God. He is good. He joined a faithful couple together and reunited old friends. His works are amazing.

Thank you, my dear friends, for an amazing night. God had His hand on the night.

Congratulations, Kory and Alicia!! Praying for your future as a married couple! God be with you on your journey!

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. (Colossians 1:15-20)

Broken at the Bou

Today I broke the bulk bean grinder at the Bou (Caribou if you were wondering). A coffee shop needs to be able to grind it's coffee. It's an important feature of what we do at Caribou. Serving coffee is pretty high on our priority list.

I have been at Caribou for almost four years. Yes, I do take time off for school, but I have worked every summer since I was 17. That's a long time. And yet, out of ignorance, I broke the bulk bean grinder.

I really didn't think it was that big of a deal until I told my manager. She then checked it and was like "oh no, oh no" and mouthed an expletive. I then understood the horror of what I had done.

Sitting in the lobby was the District Manager and a former store manager as well.

Oh, great.

My manager ended up having to call a guy to come and fix the grinder. My pride and self-assurance in my Caribou Coffee employment went down the drain.

How could I be that stupid? I mean, I've been there for four years! I do not screw up like this. I am not an absent-minded employee. I mean, really?

A few hours later, after continually screwing things up, I was standing in the back, drowning my sorrows in mucky dishwater. I mean I really wasn't sobbing or anything, but I was definitely reflecting on my idiocy.

Then I remembered what I read this morning in Ezra and what I promised myself I would remember throughout the day. It didn't completely apply at that moment; the significance of it really didn't click until now. But God is good and sovereign. He brought both of these passages to mind:

For we are slaves. Yet our God has not forsaken us in our slavery.... (Ezra 9:9a)

and:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you...." (2 Corinthians 12:9a)

Now both passages were not in full, but as I look at them now, I see God connecting them to my day.

Christ reminded me that I am still a slave to my sin. Pride is my weakness. It shackles me to this earth, and I am helpless to fight against it. At least I am on my own. He then reminded me that His grace is all I need. Though I am a slave, God has not forsaken me. His grace is a gift He has given me, and that gift is sufficient even when I screw up at the Bou.

These little reminders were extremely significant to my situation today. Though it seemed like just a screw up at Caribou Coffee, it was really a reminder from my all-sufficient Savior that He loves me and his grace is sufficient when my pride fails. Which it always does, and His always is. Sad that I forget that.

So today at Caribou, I screwed up. But I was broken before my God which is so much more important than Caribou Coffee could ever be.

All for His glory.

Not Just a Morning Morsel

So I've been really bad at doing my devotions this week. Like really bad. And it's really affecting my life. I can feel myself slipping backwards. It's a horrible feeling.

This morning I was heading out to open at my Caribou. It was really early. Like 4am early. I have no desire to be up at 4am. Ever. When I have kids, and they wake up and need Mommy at 4am, or when I am flying to some "exotic" place and need to be out of my house at 4am, okay, then 4am is understandable. I know this is work, and it's a priority and important. But 4am?? Okay.

4:40 rolled around, and I was all ready to head out the door, but what's the point of getting to work early when you are opening? So I sat down at the table again and opened my Bible.

I only had a few minutes to I wasn't able to read in Ezra or John (where I have been reading),but I had a book-marker at Psalm 79. A couple verses really stuck out to me:

Do not remember against us our

former iniquities;

let your compassion come

speedily to meet us,

for we are brought very low.

Help us, O God of our salvation,

for the glory of your name;

deliver us, and atone for our sins,

for your name's sake! (Psalm 79:8-9)

These verses really outlined how I was feeling. I needed to be brought low, and I was. My ache was for God to meet me there. He answered my silent, unconscious prayer.

After I finished up Psalm 79, my eye was drawn to a verse I had underlined in Psalm 80 when I read through the Psalms last year:

Restore us, O God;

let your face shine, that we may be saved! (Psalm 80:3)

The last time I successfully read my devotion, the chapter in Taste and See talked about finding a piece of Scripture to bask in all day. Not to attempt to survive on just a morsel in the morning and nothing else the rest of the day. One would starve.

I took this to heart and have tried to do this throughout the past days that I have spent time in the Word. Today, I meditated on Psalm 80:3. I needed restoration. My backsliding is unacceptable, and I needed restoration to a place where I could be in communication with Him. And with this verse, I was able to see it. My desire became to "let [His] face shine, that [I] may be saved!"

All for His glory.

Grandpa George

Oooh man. Have I got a story to tell you.

This is how I have started many a conversation in the past week.

But I'm not going to tell you those stories now. I am going to tell you about something a lot more interesting. Well, at least I think it's interesting.

Last weekend I was blessed with the opportunity to hang out with my grandparents of the Drahosh variety. Mom, Dad, and Grandma went to a retirement party for a little over an hour, and I got to hang out with my amazing Grandpa.

George is one of those amazing people who doesn't think he accomplished much in his life. However, my grandpa couldn't be more wrong.

1. He was a rural mail-carrier for a long time.

2. He was the fire chief and the mayor of Finlayson.

3. He fought in World War II and has a bronze star and a purple heart.

4. He grew up on a farm during the Great Depression.

5. He understands Czech and English.

Those are just a few of the things that my grandpa has done.

And now, his short-term memory is fading, but my grandpa, he sat and talked to be for over an hour about amazing things. He told me about his childhood, about what a man's role should be, about the cats, about the recent fire, etc.

It was a good day. My grandfather is amazing. He is a man I respect a lot, and I love him very much.

So I'm done gushing now, but I would encourage you to go find out about your grandparents' life. They are pretty amazing. Trust me. :-)

Chai Tea and Desires

Today is just a day. Today is just a day in an endless stream of days. But today, all I want to do it write. And drink chai tea. Preferably Big Train Chai, but Caribou chai would suffice as well.

But what to write about. What to say that would be significant, but also extremely interesting and a pleasure to read?

Honestly I don't know. I could tell you about my day. I could tell you about my weekend. I could go on and on about the books I've read for class, about the overwhelming nature of my next paper. But really, who wants to read about that?

I find myself desiring something other than I have today. I want the sun to be shining, I want to be sitting in a hip coffee shop (yes, hip), and I want to have no cares in the world. I want to be writing from my soul and not from my mind. I want the words to flow and the utterances to have meaning.

But you know what, I have nothing to say. I want to write, and I want to write well. I want to live in a time of life where stress is nonexistent, but for me, stress, whether good or bad, will always be around. Lord willing, I will learn how to deal with it without falling apart.

So that's my desire today. I want to be different and out there, but I'm not. I am who I am. The Lord has made me this way and put me in this place for a reason. SO here we go. Let's work for Him.

All for His glory.

A Crazy Week with Overwhelming Hope

This week has been crazy. Yes, most people would say that every week in a college student's life is nuts, but this week was especially insane.

Monday: Paper (writing all day; due by midnight)

Tuesday: ASL Presentation (YAY!)

Wednesday: Attempt to gain sanity before Gear Up Get Ready

Thursday: Wrangle 20 seventh graders with a team of 9 for 4ish hours. Plans changed.

Friday: Get a hair cut; try on a bridesmaid dress; drive 130+ miles

Okay. So from this angle, it doesn't look all that bad, but right now (when I should be sleeping), it felt like an insane week.

All this to say that I have been emotional a lot in the past two days. Worn out from working with a group of seventh graders that we had to entertain, I freaked out a few times. I let things get to me. I exploded. Twice.

But not all my emotions were bad. I talked to my brother today and told him about the field trip. He asked if the students were deaf or hearing. I don't know why, but that made my heart happy. Maybe it was a small reminder of what God has planned for me. A reminder of the passion He put there. And then Caleb told me he was proud of me. I'm not sure how intentionally he said it, but it made me cry. To have my brother proud of me is amazing. It made my morning.

And later in the day, I was driving home from Montrose, MN, where I was being fitted for a bridesmaid dress for my friend Alicia's wedding. I signed the entire way home. I know that isn't the safest thing in the world when driving, but I just couldn't stop. I got home and read Taryn Wobbema's blog, "a campaign for light," and the word "new" at the end of her most recent post jumped out at me. My head immediately signed it. And I almost cried again.

God is good and merciful and gracious and my hope. His plan for me is so much more glorious than I could even imagine. Though this week was crazy, His light was in it over and over. He granted freedom from stress and self-consciousness the day of Gear Up Get Ready. I was able to just have fun. There was very little anxiety. He granted me happiness in my brother's small comment. He granted me a sense of hope in signing.

Today was the culmination of a week of wonders.

Hope is Christ. Christ is hope. All for His glory.

Participation Please!

So at one of my placements, my coop teacher asked me if I had any book suggestions for her 7th-grade son. Now I have some, and I want to email my suggestions to her soon, but I would like to get some other input. These are what I have so far:

• Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
• Slam!
• Fallen Angels both by Walter Dean Myers (or anything by him)
• The Inheritance Series by Christopher Paolini
• The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
• Monster Blood Tattoo series by D.M. Cornish
• The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
• A Wrinkle in Time series, especially Many Waters (male protagonists) by Madeleine L'Engle
• The Giver by Lois Lowry

That's what I have, but I would like some more. She said that she wanted books other than Harry Potter. I think he has already read them or was not interested.

Let me know what you think! Thanks!

A Blog About Remembering

So school is coming to a close for the year with only three weeks left or so. It sometimes overwhelms me.

There are so many projects to do. Some are fun and exciting; some are stressful and depressing. All are important.

I have to take some time and just be. I need to remember that my God is bigger than all the important projects. His purpose is for me to do more than get a good grade on projects.

Today I focused on His Word more than I have all week. It helped my mindset and my heart. Why do I choose not to devote time to Him?

It's because sometimes the world seems more appealing. But it's not. It's temporary.

God and His love are eternal.

This is a blog about remembering. A reminder for the writer more than the reader.

Time

But there is something about Time. The sun rises and sets. The stars swing slowly across the sky and fade. Clouds fill with rain and snow, empty themselves, and fill again. The moon is born, and dies, and is reborn. Around millions of clocks swing hour hands, and minute hands, and second hands. Around goes the continual circle of notes of the scale. Around goes the circle of night and day, the circle of weeks forever revolting, and of months, and of years.

--Madeleine L'Engle, The Small Rain, pg. 152

"We Will Dance" by David Ruis

Sing a song of celebration

Lift up a shout of joy

For the Bridegroom will come

The Glorious One

And oh, we will look on His face

We'll go to a much better place

Dance with all your might

Lift up your hands and clap for joy

The time's drawing near

When He will appear

And oh, we will stand by his side

A strong, pure, spotless bride

We will dance on streets that are golden

The glorious bride and the great Son of Man

From every tribe and tongue and nation

Will join in the song of the Lamb

Sing aloud for the time of rejoicing is near

(Sing aloud for the time of rejoicing is near)

The risen King, our Groom, is soon to appear

(The risen King, our Groom, is soon to appear)

The wedding feast to come is now near at hand

(The wedding feast to come is now near at hand)

Lift up your voice, proclaim the coming Lamb

(Lift up your voice, proclaim the coming Lamb)

A Piano

There is something about a piano.

It's beautiful and soft. It's music is soothing to the soul and the sight of it is one which eases all pain and stress.

It is a moment. It is a relief. It is articulate. It is worn. It is comfortable. It is provocative. It is a window. It is a door. It is warmth. It is passion. It is sorrow. It is joy. It is an atmosphere. It is a motif.

A piano is an instrument, opening upon new worlds.

A Martha Striving to be a Mary

I find that stress is something that either inspires creativity or kills it relentlessly.

I, some days, can't find the happy medium. It's like everything happens all at once, and things that you knew were looming, creep up with an overwhelming intensity that you weren't prepared for.

And it almost always happens on a Monday.

So today is a Monday, and today I am overwhelmed to the point of tears (the point, however none have dropped).

I was looking over my schedule, planning out my life for the week on my Post-it calendar (which was a gift from my mother for Christmas; amazing gift), and I read over the verses I had put in the margin. It was from Luke 10. I'll tell you the whole story so you get the context:

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister had left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me." But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10: 38-42)

I've heard this story before, but last week when I was reading it, and now when I read it again, I am amazed to realize that I am a Martha who should be a Mary. The only thing that matters is the Lord and his Word. I can just imagine Jesus shaking his head, saying "Martha, Martha" or "Kate, Kate" in an exasperated, but loving, way.

My desire for the rest of this semester (and essentially the rest of my life) is to be a Mary who chooses the good portion "which will not be taken away from her."

For All Those Girls Whose Daddies Didn't Love Them the Way He Should've

Today is a Saturday. On any typical Saturday, I don't do much of anything until the afternoon. I get up and watch tv in my pj's till it's time to get ready for church.

But today was different. Today, I got up and drank my tea and read my Bible. Today I worshiped Jesus. Today I spent the morning with my daddy.

And not just with my spiritual Daddy, but my physical one as well.

It made a difference in how I looked at my day.

I have a great relationship with my dad. He's always loving and protecting. Yes, I fight with him sometimes, but that's because I'm his kid. Not like that justifies it, but you know what I mean.

It was interesting that when I came home after spending some really good time with my daddy, I sat down to see what was on tv and got sucked into Georgia Rule. Now I had heard of this movie, and I did want to see it, so I just continued to watch.

It was a pretty good movie; however, it was not one that I would watch in mixed company.

The movie is about three generations of women who all have issues. However the youngest takes it a step further when she admits that her step-father molested her when she was young.

Interesting. I just spent a wonderful, glorious morning with my father who loves and protects me at all costs, and I watch a movie that reminds me that not all little girls have the same relationship. It just about broke my heart.

How can I help?

That's one of the reasons I want to be a teacher, so I can help. I want girls to know that even if their daddies are not loving them the way he should, they can find the love of a father in Jesus. And yes, I want to work in a public school, so I may not be able to explicitly say that, but I want to be able to live my life in such a way that they question. I want to be a witness.

I want to know that forgiveness is real and the love of a father is there for them.

So to all of those girls whose daddies are amazing and love them beyond measure, call him up and tell him how much you appreciate him and what he does for you.

And to all those girls whose daddies did unimaginable things to them, there is a way to find a Father-like love. Jesus can heal that wounded part of you. He can fill that hole and give you hope for a better and brighter future. He is better than any earthly man. Just ask Him. He'll tell you in ways that you probably wouldn't expect. Watch for His love to pour out upon you because He will pour it.

If you grew up with a daddy who didn't love you the way a daddy should, if he neglected you or molested you or beat you, just know that there is help in a holy God who will love you better than any father, good or bad, could here on earth.

A Word of Truth and A Game I'm Bad At

Yes, I agree. Blogging all the time is a pain. That's why I don't do it. I am bad at reading them everyday too. Ha.

So I was reading Abraham Piper's newer blog, Downhill Both Ways, and I came across a blog from a few days ago among the plethora that I have not read yet. This one grabbed my attention right away because of, yes, the title:

"Two Truths and a Lie with a Deaf Guy."

First of all, I really suck at the game two truths and a lie. Don't try and play with me. I might be a writer (sometimes) and love making stuff up, I can't do it quickly or about myself well. Just don't ask me to play.

However, that's not what grabbed my attention immediately. It was the "Deaf Guy" part. If you know anything about me and my aspirations, you already guessed that.

Though this story seems like a difficult situation, it was also kind of inspiring to me. When it neared the end, and Abraham thought of Peter's words in Acts 3:6, I definitely got shivers. Goosebumps irrupted all up and down my arms. What a thing to remember at a time like that.

Anyway, I'm really glad I read Abraham's blog today. It was a blessing to me.

Transformed into Holy Creatures

Today I was reflecting on the fact that I have not blogged in a while. Life took over. Sorry.

The week of February 20th marked the one year anniversary of my kidney stone. To get the whole story, read my blog post. It was a week of remembrance for me. It was also the busiest week of my semester so far. God is good and glorious. He took my mind off my terror and gave me other things to think about.

I was reading my devotional, Taste and See by John Piper, today. The chapter was entitled, "Discernment by Desire: Finding God's Will by the Fragrance of the Holy." Honestly, I had a really hard time concentrating through it, but the last paragraph grabbed my attention:

The assumption here is that our faculty of delighting or desiring is healthy and God-saturated. And that is the great challenge of the Christian life: Be transformed in the renewing of your mind that you may approve [not just prove, but approve, that is test and then delight in] the will of God (Romans 12:2). Our great need is to be people whose delights are the very delights of God. (115)

Pastor Piper's paraphrase of Romans 12:2 really caught my attention. Now, I know that it's a very popular verse. Most everyone who has been to a conference of any sort or spent any time in the church has heard this verse, most of the time in addition to Romans 12:1.

However, do we really stop to think about what Paul is trying to tell us. Here, read it and really think about it:

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:1-2, ESV)

Now most people focus on the transforming of one's mind, and though that is EXTREMELY important, I want to focus on something else: the adjectives that describe our sacrifice and what the will of God is. The words "holy," "acceptable," "good," and "perfect" are all important to how we should understand these verses.

Our sacrifice should not just be mediocre; it should be HOLY. Like really holy. Like: "As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, 'You shall be holy, for I am holy'" (1 Peter 1:14-16).

We need to strive for that holiness. And goodness and perfection and acceptability.

So I will encourage you to read over these verses again. Meditate on them and what they mean. You don't need me to point out the truth in the Bible. That's what the Holy Spirit is for. Just keep digging in. It's totally worth every moment you spend reading the words of God.

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights of the word, holding fast to the word of life.... (Philippians 2:14-16a, ESV)

Not Idealistic Gas

After reading my Bible this morning, I turned to my copy of Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. I know that I've talked about this book before, and this morning, I am going to share its wisdom once again.

I read the chapter entitled "Counting the Cost". In this chapter, or lecture as it was originally produced, Lewis discussed his comment of God desiring us to be perfect. He immediately clarifies that he does not mean that if we are not perfect, God will not accept us. Lewis believes that God wants us to strive for perfection and nothing less. But as humans we want less, and God wants to inspire us to more.

After Lewis gives an anecdote about dentists (a dentist does not just fix the hurt; he gives the whole mouth treatment), he says:

Now if I may put it that way, Our Lord is like the dentists. If you give Him an inch, He will take an ell [about 45 inches or so]. Dozens of people go to Him to be cured of some one particular sin which they are ashamed of (like masturbation or physical cowardice) or which is obviously spoiling daily life (like bad temper or drunkenness). Well, He will cure it all right: but he will not stop there. That may be all you asked; but if once you call Him in, He will give you the full treatment. (Lewis 174)

Lewis goes on to explain that this is one of the reasons Christ told people to "count the cost" before coming to Him. Christ wants us to strive for perfection in Himself: "To shrink back from that plan is not humility; it is laziness and cowardice. To submit to it is not conceit or megalomania; it is obedience" (Lewis 175).

The job of making us perfect will not be completed in this life; however, Christ wants us to strive hard after the goal so that His Father may look on us in the end and say He is well-pleased with us.

The command Be ye perfect is not idealistic gas. Nor is it a command to do the impossible.... The process will be long and in parts very painful; but that is what we are in for. Nothing less. He meant what He said. (Lewis 176)

And I'm Standing Amazed

Have you ever learned how to be completely content?

I know I haven't, but for the first time in my college career, I feel as through I'm close.

I finally know what I want to do with my life. I love all of my classes. I am happy.

There is much I need to do still, and I am a master at procrastinating, but I'm learning what is important and what is not. And eventually, I will get to those things I am procrastinating on.

The Lord has blessed me in immense ways here at River Falls. I have amazing friends and a most excellent roommate. I have been given Christian friends in my classes who are interested in my life as I am interested in theirs. I have a job. I have wonderful professors who actually care about me and what I do with my life. I have never felt more content.

I was discussing my life with a friend the other day and was suddenly impressed with the fact that had I not transferred from Northwestern, I would probably not be pursuing Special Education. But that's another post for another time. Like tomorrow.

I can only pray that you may be as content in your circumstances as I am.

But I won't question in the dark

What is true out in the light

I will follow after You

Through the sun and through the night

Cause You've got me

Right where you want me

Yeah, You've got me

Right where I need to be

And I'm standing amazed ("Amazed" by Building 429)

Slightly Failing to Meet Expectations

So I know that I kinda failed at my "reading a book a week over break" goal. However, I did read quite a bit. More than some people might think healthy.

Not only did I finish Little Women and Foundling, I completed A Sweet and Bitter Providence by John Piper, and am about 10 pages from the end of Lamplighter, the second in the Monster Blood Tattoo series.

That's somewhere around 1090 pages. That's pretty good if I do say so myself.

Though I may not have finished all the reading I wanted to, I did read. And that soothes my soul to no end.

I'll post again soon with some wisdom about classes. Or some such nonsense.

Glory be to the one who created words! Praise God!

The Second Adventure

Actually, the title of this blog is a little misleading. The Foundling by D.M. Cornish was actually about the first adventure of the character Rossamund.

The story begins with Rossamund (yes, he is a boy) at the orphanage he was raised in. The reader immediately gets the sense that Rossamund is a little different. He is mocked because of his womanly name and his small size. Yet if one continues with him through the book, they will find that he is not helpless.

Rossamund's journey is far from peaceful, and he runs into many terrors, some monsters and some people. The monsters, nickers and bogles (large and small respectively), are the supposed terror within the Half Continent; however, Rossamund learns that one must not only be wary of the monsters.

I am amazed at this story. D.M. Cornish created an amazing world. This book has at least 100 pages of appendices. There is a glossary, or Explicarium as he calls it, that is extremely extensive, along with maps, explanations of clothing, gear, etc. Basically, if you don't understand something in the story, just look it up in the back. For the most part, he has a thorough explanation.

Just a note: this story does not contain magic. Though many abilities that appear may seem like magic, these monster-fighting tools only come about by special surgeries or potions, etc. Not believable, but very different and fascinating.

Battles with nickers and bogles and people riddle the pages; however, this story does take some getting into. It took me a while to actually enjoy this book completely. I realized, after really getting into it, this book is only the beginning. Yes, basically Foundling is the introduction to a much bigger story. To be able to understand what is going to happen, you must read it.

The second book is called Lamplighter. This story seemed to grab me a lot quicker than the first. Yet this may be because I had already read the first and know what D.M. Cornish can do.

Honestly, I would recommend this book. It is a good one, and I am moving quickly onto the second (which is much longer; hopefully I will finish it before school starts back up). Check it out, and if nothing else, marvel at the time and energy D.M. Cornish put into creating his world.

On to the Second

My second pick for Book of the Week(ish) is Foundling by D.M. Cornish.

I picked up this book for the second time last week; however, the first time I did not get very far. It is my goal to finish this tale this time.

A book about a boy named Rossamund, this story is extremely detailed. Cornish created a world almost as complex if not as complex as Tolkien's Middle Earth. The Half-Continent seems to be a world full of interesting mysteries, and as I read, I'm sure I will discover some of them.

So here goes! Off on another whirlwind adventure!

Hope your reading is exciting you as much as mine. Keep at it!

A Review and Praise for Alcott's Most Famous

So with about 80 pages left of Little Women, I settled into bed last night. It was a perfect way to end a day.

In the pages of Alcott's novel, I found little intrigue or conspiracy, but I found reality. However difficult the life, it was a peacefully simple one. I wonder about the complexity of our world today when I read books such as this, and I find myself desiring the more simple life. I know it was not easy or happy, and one had to work hard for everything they had, but it was less complicated in it's struggles. For the most part. And I am basing my analysis solely on books. I have no experience or anything...

There were so many moments in this book that I would like to relay, but I would also encourage you to read it if you have not already, so I will refrain from giving anything away.

Let's just say, I found a lot of myself in this book. It was very shocking and enlightening to see myself written on the page. I wish that I could always live in this world, coming back daily to the simplicity, if only to dream.

Fantastically written and honestly true, I would recommend this book to any and all. I am looking forward to reading the next in the series, Little Men, and then later, Jo's Boys.

O my girls, however long you may live, I never can wish you a greater happiness than this! (Alcott 669)

Lateness...

I must apologize for my lateness in continuing my blogs about Little Women. I have been busy with wonderful and amazing things. Thus, reading has been on the back burner. However, I plan on finishing today/tomorrow and will begin again.

Hope you had a wonderful holiday!