Bursting at the Seams

So over the past four weeks, I have spent my Tuesday and Thursday mornings at a middle school for placement. This supposedly consists of me observing a teacher in my area teaching a class of unruly middle school kiddos. When I was first placed in a middle school, I was very hesitant because if you know me at all, you'll know I want to teach high school kids. I went into the classroom with a little experience, my summer job putting me in a classroom setting four days a week. I learned how the class worked and after the first week, I was in love.

I am at the middle school for two class periods of Language Arts.

Oh man. I love it.

I get to walk around and chat with the kids about their projects and reactions to certain topics. For the first couple weeks, the kids were really hesitant to think anything of me, or at least outwardly. But they are middle schoolers.

Now, my placement is quickly coming to a close, and they like me. I don't want to leave. Some of the girls asked me why I don't come every day. I melted. One followed me around while we were in the library. She was disappointed when she had to go back to class with the real teacher. They really like me. I'm attached. I don't want to ever leave.

I'm really amazed at these students as well. I noticed this in summer school as well, but it seems more apparent in the middle school setting: though I discipline, the students still like me. They respect me and want my attention. I'm absolutely baffled by this. If I tell them what they are doing is wrong, why would they like me? I don't fully understand. Is it the way I go about it? I'm not sure I will ever understand.

My excitement to be a teacher is magnified in these days that I spend with these students. I feel God's love for them as I walk through the halls and watch them interact. The desire of my heart is to be a teacher. How great is our God that He fills our hearts, our measly pitiful little hearts, with His awe-some incredible desires.

I can't contain myself. Literally.

God is good, my friends. God is so good.

Reality is Calling

So over the past few weeks, I haven’t been very good about striving towards the Lord. I have been thinking that I could do it all myself and was consistently humbled. Every few days, I would get a swift kick in the pants to remember that I, the ultimate control freak, have absolutely no control.

Suddenly, I changed the course for the next semester. Granted, it's only three months or so, but still, it has a big impact on what will happen in my future.

I dropped a class I need for my major and picked up a class that will not be beneficial to me credit wise.

This does not seem super important, but it is. With this class that is important to me graduating, I was not able to spend time in the Word in my mornings. The time I would have spent would have been cramped and rushed.

But as I dropped this course, I found myself desiring to be in the Word even more. Everyday. I can't get enough of its truths. It's all I desire.

I immediately dug into Acts. I had been slowly making my way through this book, but now, I had a passion to really know it. As I read it, I can across this passage (Acts 16:6-10):

And they went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them. So, passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. And a vision appeared to Paul in the night: a man of Macedonia was standing there, urging him and saying, "Come over to Macedonia and help us." And when Paul had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go on into Macedonia, concluding that God has called us to preach the gospel to them.

This passage really spoke to me because I had been seeing the Holy Spirit working in ways that seem contrary to what He would want. But then I remembered that God has a plan in everything. Even when we are striving to do God's will, we might not be listening. We must listen to our men of Macedonia and go where God is calling, listening to Him and Him alone.

He calls us to the places we least likely expect to go to preach the gospel and witness for Him.

I also began to read 1 John, and God began to speak to me through it. One of the many passages that stuck out to me was 1 John 4: 4:

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them [evil spirits], for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

And 1 John 5: 4-5:

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?

This passage really reminded me that I am of God, and even as I live in the world, I have a God that I am called by. He loves me and with Him I can overcome every temptation, crude comment, slander, fear, violence, or hate that is thrown at me.

God is good, my friends. Through a trivial change in my schedule, I have become more solid in my decision to transfer. God is calling me out, as Pastor Jason said today at Grace Church of Roseville. He talked about knowing God and following His voice. Pastor Jason stated that we were not meant to live life in a pen, or a bubble. God is calling me out.

This might be the first time some of you have heard me speak of transferring. If you want to know more about my decision, drop me a line. I'd love to tell you about what God is doing in my life and has been doing in the past few months.

It all comes back to my Father. He is my sustainer, and without Him, these decisions would never come to be.

So, I will be following God’s voice in this transition. His Word has become fuel for the fire within me. I’m intoxicated by it.

One thought to leave you with. Do not let yourselves be distracted from the Maker of heaven and earth. Do not listen to the voices of the world, for they are all corrupt. Even mine, if my words and my intent are not the Lord’s. Stay away from those things that would draw you to evil.

Little children, keep yourselves from idols. (1 John 5: 21)