"With groanings too deep for words"

Today it really hit me that I have once again let my mind stray from God. I have been focusing on things of the flesh. Well, that won't do. It says plainly in Romans 8, that those who live by the flesh, die by it: 

For if you live according to the flesh you will die... (Romans 8:13a).

But the verse also goes on: 

...but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live (Romans 8:13b).

It seems so ridiculously plain, and yet, it is so hard to live by. But those who are Christians are also drawn to that which is of the Spirit. There is a deep longing in the soul to remember that God is our Father, and He sincerely loves us. He has adopted us as sons and daughters, and in that, He has given us hope:

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him (Romans 8:14-17).

He loves us enough to make us heirs in His kingdom. Think about that. Heirs to the Kingdom of God. That is amazing. How can we even fathom it? 

Because He loves us this much, He gave us the Holy Spirit. And I'm so glad He did. Often enough, I desire what I want to desire, going back to the fleshly living. I pray for the things that I want, not what is most glorifying to Him. Thus: 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26). 

That is something else to think about: "groanings too deep for words." As an English major, words are very important to me. I can almost always find a word to describe something. But this--this groaning--is too deep for words. Too deep. The note in my Bible says: 

"The Holy Spirit strengthens us in our state of weakness, of which we are constantly conscious. Perplexity as to how to pray for oneself is a universal Christian experience. Our inarticulate longings to pray properly are an indication to us that indwelling Spirit is already helping us by interceding for us in our hearts, making requests that the Father will certainly answer" (The Reformation Study Bible).

It is something to think about. The Holy Spirit is there, taking our "inarticulate longings," and making them requests to the Father with "groanings too deep for words." Look at that. He takes the longings of the deepest regions of our souls and makes them known to God, especially when our flesh takes over. 

We are adopted as heirs to the Kingdom of God, blessed with the reminder that those who live of the Spirit will surely live, and the Holy Spirit, dwelling in us, takes up our deepest desires to the One who matters most. 

How great is our God? More than we can fathom, I'm sure. 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26).

A Poem for the Week

No Beauty We Could Desire

by C.S. Lewis

Yes, you are always everywhere. But I,

Hunting is such immeasurable forests,

Could never bring the noble Hart to bay.

The scent was too perplexing for my hounds;

Nowhere sometimes, then again everywhere. 

Other scents, too, seemed to them almost the same.

Therefore I turn my back on the unapproachable

Stars and horizons and all musical sounds, 

Poetry itself, and the winding stair of thought. 

Leaving the forests where you are pursued in vain

- Often a mere white gleam - I turn instead

To the appointed place where you pursue. 

Not in Nature, not even in Man, but in one

Particular Man, with a date, so tall, weighing

So much, talking Aramaic, having learned a trade;

Not in all food, not in all bread and wine

(Not, I mean, as my littleness requires)

But this wine, this bread...no beauty that we could desire. 

Isaiah 53

A Poem for a Thursday in Winter

One Winter Night in August

by X. J. Kennedy

 

One winter night in August
While the larks stand in their eggs,
A barefoot boy with shoes on
Stood kneeling on his legs

At ninety miles an hour
He slowly strolled to town
And parked atop a tower
That had just fallen down

He asked a kind old police man
Who bit small boys in half
“Officer, have you seen my pet
Invisible giraffe?”

“Why sure I haven’t seen him,"
The cop smiled with a sneer
“He was just here tomorrow,
And he rushed right back last year”

“Now boy come be arrested
For stealing frozen steam!”
And whipping out his pistol
He carved some hot ice cream

Just then a pack of dogfish
Who roam the deserts snows
Arrived by unicycle
And shook the policeman’s toes

They cried, “congratulations
Old dear, surprise surprise
You raced the worst, so you came in first
And you didn’t win any prize!”

Then turning to the boyfoot bear
They yelled, “He’s overheard
What we didn’t say to the officer
(we never said one word!)

“Too bad boy, we must turn you
Into a loathsome toad!
Now shut your ears and liten,
We’re going to explode!”

But then with an awful holler,
That didn’t make a peep
Our ancient boy, age seven
Woke up and went to sleep.

 

A Poem for the Day

"Obedience" 

by George MacDonald

I said, "Let me walk in the fields." 

He said, "No, walk in the town." 

I said, "There are no flowers there." 

He said, "No flowers, but a crown." 

I said, "But the skies are black;

There is nothing but noise and din." 

And He wept as He sent me back;

"There is more," He said; "there is sin." 

I said, "But the air is thick, 

And fogs are veiling the sun." 

He answered, "Yet souls are sick,

And souls in the dark undone." 

I said, "I shall miss the light,

And friends will miss me, they say." 

He answered, "Choose to-night

If I am to miss you, or they." 

I pleaded for time to be given. 

He said, "Is it hard to decide?

It will not seem hard in heaven

To have followed the steps of your Guide." 

I cast one look at the fields, 

Then set my face to the town; 

He said, "My child, do you yield?

Will you leave the flowers for the crown?" 

Then into His hand went mine,

And into my heart came He;

And I walk in a light divine

That path I had feared to see. 

"Amazed" by Building 429

"Who am I 
23 and it’s all a lie 
Thought I knew who I was 
I thought that You were here with me 

But this darkness is breaking 
Everything in me 
These infinite questions 
Have shattered all the peace 

But I won’t question in the dark 
What is true out in the light 
I will follow after You 
Through the sun and through the night 

Cause You’ve got me 
Right where You want me 
Yeah You’ve got me 
Right where I need to be 
And I’m standing amazed 

Where did it go 
33 and it’s gone so fast 
Thought I knew who I was 
I though that You were leading me 

But this depression is 
Crashing in on me 
And I’m not half the man 
I hoped I’d be 

But I won’t question in the dark 
What is true out in the light 
I will follow after You 
Through the storm and through the fight 

Cause You’ve got me 
Right where You want me 
Yeah You’ve got me 
Right where I need to be 
And I’m standing amazed 

But I won’t question in the dark 
What is true out in the light 
I will follow after You 
Through the storm and through the fight 

Cause You’ve got me 
Right where You want me 
Yeah You’ve got me 
Right where I need to be 
And I’m standing amazed 

You’ve got me right where I want to be 
You’ve got me right where I need to be 
And I’m standing amazed"

God is good, and He is in control. Always. He has you right where He wants you, to teach you, to heal you, to change you, to transform you. It's never easy, but He will love you always and never let you fall. 

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect" (Romans 12:1-2).

Faith

So as a follower of Jesus, I know that I am supposed to have faith that God knows what He is doing. Well, as a control freak, I tend to struggle in remembering this. It's a wild ride, but I tend to think that what I want and what I understand is better. 

But faith is about not knowing what is out there. Faith in God is trusting that He won't fail you even though you have no idea where He is taking you: 

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (emphasis added) (Hebrews 11:1).

Now we probably have all heard this verse at one point or another, most likely in the NIV translation. Both of these translations have something that needs to be emphasized: "the conviction of things NOT SEEN." We aren't always going to see where God is leading us, and for some of us, it's really difficult to remember that He is in control. 

But we need to remember it. It's faith. 

Abraham did it:

"By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going" (emphasis added) (Hebrews 11:8). 

Why can't we? 

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God" (Hebrews 12:1-2). 

He gave us the Holy Spirit to be with us, to teach us faith:  

"When the day of Pentecost arrived, they were all together in one place. And suddenly there came from heaven a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. And divided tongues as of fire appeared to them and rested on each one of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance" (Acts 2:1-4). 

Have faith, friends! God is good. Do not be afraid to take a leap because He is holding your heart. 

Friends, Apartments, and Morphine

To be honest with you, the past few weeks have been a roller-coaster ride in my life. Let me give you a little background.

I transferred to UW River Falls this semester, and I really didn't know anyone. I was all alone in a state that felt a million miles from everything comfortable. But God reigns. He took me under His wing and brought me closer to Him. He gave me a sincere desire to love Him more than anything else. 

After a few weeks (three to be exact) of being in an unfamiliar place with only acquaintances save one (my good friend, Sam), I got sick with the flu. Lovely, right? Actually it was. The week that followed was hard, but every morning, I began to rely more and more on Christ. I went home the next weekend to be with my family over Valentine's Day and my mommy's birthday, and was able to spend time with my girls at NWC. It was simply fantastic. 

That Sunday, I received a text from my friend, Jayme. She asked me about housing for next year. Now I had been mulling over this for a while. Without any friends to live with, I was at a loss. But Jayme said that she and her friend, Bre, were looking into apartments and needed a third roommate. This was an incredibly huge blessing to me. It seemed to simply come down from heaven when I was struggling with where I was at. I told her that I would love to live with them, and that began our search for an apartment. 

On Monday we started, and by Tuesday afternoon, we signed a lease for a gorgeous apartment. Bre, Jayme, Katelyn, and I were beginning our adventure as adults. Nothing could be more exciting. Except for the fact that I had finally found friends. God had blessed me with these amazing women, not only to be my roommates, but also women who love me. 

The rest of that week was great. I was able to spend time with the girls, eating, drinking coffee, laughing, and just getting to know each other. I was excited to finally have a variety of people to be with, and the best thing about it is that they are women of God. They love Him first and foremost, and I couldn't ask for anything better. 

This weekend, we were able to hang out as well, spending much time talking late into the night. It was excellent. 

Sunday, though, came with a twist. I didn't feel real well all day, and as Jayme, Bre, Jenny, and I were heading out to church at five, I started having pretty intense pain in my kidney. Being silly me, I was trying to play it off and get over it. But I couldn't, and we ended up stopping at the ER, the only thing open on a Sunday. The girls were happy to be my rescuers, loving me all the way in the door. I was admitted and even after I told the girls they could go to church if they wanted to, they stayed. They wanted to make sure I was okay. Each girl had alerted many people to be praying for me, and those prayers are what got me where I am now. 

The doctors discovered I had a kidney stone. They gave me morphine and some other fun drugs, reminding me not to drive while on narcotics. After about four hours in the Hudson Hospital, I was discharged. Mom and Dad came and picked me up, and after a short stop at my dorm, we headed home. 

The pain was then so intense I could not hold food. I ended up in the ER in Mercy Hospital, the same hospital in which I was born. I was admitted and kept overnight. The pain was incredible, and without the morphine and tordal, I don't think I would have survived. The nurses and doctors that helped me were amazing, helping me get through all the crap that was being thrown at me. Basically, it was a big adventure with a lot of wonderful people around me. 

Over the past two days, God has shown me that He will never leave me. He gave me wonderful friends, who I consider the heroes of my night, amazing medical help, and fantastic parents, as well as all the people who were on the outskirts of the night, praying for my recovery. I passed the stone on my own and did not have to have surgery. After Sunday night, I did not have any pain. I was able to sleep a lot, catching up on the sleep I had not been getting in the past month. All of these things were a testament to God's faithfulness in answering prayer. People in downtown Minneapolis, people at NWC, people at Concordia, people at River Falls, people in Boston, people in Pine City, people in Fargo, all were praying, and I thank you all. God has placed you all in my life for a special reason, and I couldn't be more thankful. 

Now, I am home, reflecting on the past few days. What a ride. I'm reminded of many things this weekend; the most important being the glory and provision of my God. 

"Cast your burden on the Lord, 

and he will sustain you; 

he will never permit 

the righteous to be moved." 

Psalm 55:22

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10